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Saw just under 200 films in the year just gone. In cinema and at home. New releases and old classics. First timers and return viewing. I’m not quite sure why I started doing an end of year movie round up in September but there you go…

These are the ones that stood out, either for being great or for being so bad they are worthy of mention. Most films are average, not unenjoyable but nothing new…every now and again, something stands out from the formulaic conveyor belt reminding you why you loved film in the first place. The ones I have selected aren’t always perfect but rather a flawed masterpiece than a dull re-tread. Saw some new belters, some cult classics and recently had a film noir flurry hence the b&w blitz at the end…but man cannot live on quality alone..

Sometimes all you want to do is count the clichés and cringe at the crap dialogue and that is why bad films are sometimes as essential viewing as good’uns. The latter are there to make you think and the former are there for the opposite reason…my brain doesn’t always want to be in operation and there is no better bed fellow for thoughtless activity than a big chunk of Hollywood…but lets cover the good shit first…in order of viewing…

THE GREAT

Project nim – teach chimp to sign then make his life a misery. Depressing but brilliant doc by man on wire team.

Lourdes – fascinating look at the fakers and shakers in search of divine healing

Troll hunter – superb Scandinavian mockumentary bout big bastard monsters

Drive – cool as fuck thriller. Worthy of the attention.

Casino – initially felt like glitzy remake of Goodfellahs but bonafide classic in own right.

Neds – Peter Mullan mostly known for his acting continues to direct great films. This is no exception. Retro looking without the rose-tinted shades.

Batman – Gotham Knight: Beautifully animated collection of short stories. If you thought the dark knight rises was pants watch this instead.

The Swimmer – burt Lancaster swims through a lot of pools managing to look fit and expose a culture in the process

Nowhere Boy – great insight into the early life of lennon perfectly captured by aaron “kick ass” johnson.

Confessions – Asian cinema at its best. Killer thriller with a multi-perspective narrative.

Fantastic Mr. Fox – Spectacular stop motion modern classic from Wes Anderson. Every scene is a magnificent display of old school craftsmanship.

Hugo – 3d annoys the shit out of me. Scorcese did it good n proper, paradoxically using the latest digital technology to immortalise the origins of analogue cinema. Still want 3d to disappear tho…not in real life obviously…

Cell 211 – excellent Spanish prison riot drama. Keeps you on edge throughout.

Kill List – highly original and genuinely creepy brit horror.

Essential killing – Vincent Gallo’s vivid but almost entirely silent portrayal of a man on the run.

Margin Call – intelligent well-performed take on the banking crisis.

Archipelago – cringing ultra realistic portrayal of upper middle class existence.

Into The Abyss – Herzog came to our local cinema and gave a q&a – a man with great presence, inspiring insight and true intelligence – he’s a genius. End of.

Wall-E – think its fast becoming my favourite animation of all time.

Pina – beautifully visualised doc bout choreographer who devised spell binding dance routines.

Avengers Assemble – they nailed it. pure and simple. Am counting the days till the dvd release..yes, I am that sad.

Chocolate – autistic teen girl makes hit girl look like a girl scout as she kicks ass in truly imaginative fight sequences in this brilliant slice of asian action.

Ms 45 – abel ferrara’s 80s revenge flick as a beautiful mute goes on rampage against men folk.

Escape from New York – all time classic. Genius premise perfectly delivered.

Apocalpyto – Ain’t no fan of the Jew Hater but he actually made a very good film.

Prometheus – not everyone’s cup of tea but thoroughly enjoyed. Attempted something different rather than repetitive sequel.

The Set-Up – the original 50s film noir boxing flick that inspired all the others.

The Krays – 80s take on the 60s psycho twins. Has aged very well.

Vertigo – Just knocked Citizen Kane off critics top list and deservedly so. No-one does it better than Hitch.

The Raid – most exciting action flick in decades. Highly original. Spectacularly inventive. Shot in Indonesia by a Welshman!

Senna – stunningly compiled doc which makes you feel by the end like you know him personally, making the tragedy all the more impactful.

Shaolin Soccer – kung fu, football and a shed load of laughs – what’s not to like? See it then see kung fu hustle if you haven’t already…

Double Indemnity – the ultimate film noir by the ultimate director. Must see.

The 39 steps – Hitch’s 1st drop dead classic.

Notorious – ‘nother Hitch belter. Could that man do no wrong? Grant & Bergman smoulder every time they meet…

The Servant – incredible microcosmic look at the changing face of brit culture from the stiff class structured 50s to the swinging 60s. superb performances by all . utterly gripping single location set up.

Laura – killer whodunnit (bad pun intended). keeps you guessing throughout. pure class by Otto Preminger.

Lost Weekend – man goes on a boozy bender. Wilder makes it magnificent.

THE SHITE:

Drive angry – latter day cage crap. Why can’t I stop watching this man’s movies? My desire to revel in his excesses seems to know no bounds. Must seek therapy for deep rooted cageism.

Heartless – shit brit horror not made in any way cooler by its trendy east London setting

Horrible bosses – lame. Did not crack a smile once, not even for colin farrell’s comb over which is as ludicrous and about as tantilizing as anniston’s nympho. Bateman deserves better.

Lovely Bones – not lovely. Visions of heaven are bad cgi screensavers and what is it about Mark Wahlberg that makes me want to punch him in the face? More of a mystery than the plot…

Green Lantern – Ryan Reynolds sucks in worst superhero movie since the last one..

Taking of Pelham 123 (remake) – Travolta threatens to undo every classic he made with his recent output. God awful.

Brighton Rock (remake) – beyond pointless.

Death Race (remake) – ok, by this point you have to be asking, why watch all these pathetic remakes..what was I expecting? I guess I expected bad and I got worse…it’s the cinematic masochist in me..I just can’t stay away.

G.I Joe – Rise of the Cobra – They actually stole the entire plot of Team America which was a total piss take of these sort of movies. Clearly lost on the execs who green lit this piece of shit. Its so bad that for once a Wayans brother isn’t the worst thing in the movie.

Trespass – A true clanger with cage and kidman – extreme ott acting and true awfulness propel dire thriller into realms of so bad its compelling viewing. Want to see A listers on the slide? This is the film for you..

“Cover your ears, the reviews are in..”

Flightplan – def wins most non-sensical plot in history. Utterly ridiculous

MIB II – Felt like everyone turned up on day 1 of shooting and went..soooo..what shall we do today? Painfully bad.

Kinky boots – dire brit drama bout tranny boots factory. Would rather had have a stiletto heel repeatedly bashed into my skull than suffer watching this grim excuse for a film.

Tintin – Hollywood A list double act of spielberg & Jackson dish up dire shallow boring weird looking cgi nonsense. Would have been more interesting to stare at the binary code behind the pixels.

From Paris with Love – watch tubby old camp OTT Travolta provide close ups for his significantly lighter, leaner, younger stunt double. Fast approaching Cage as the go to guy for shock awful movies so dire you can’t help but want to watch the car crash of their careers.

“Stand back or I will kill you with my minature eifel tower gun…”

88 Minutes – about the time it must have taken to write the script – latter day pacino thrill-less thriller. He plays a forensic scientist but looks like a vegas magician which is distracting at best.

THE PLAIN FUCKING WEIRD

Hellzapoppin – crazy pythonesque 1940s screwball comedy with greatest dance scene ever. http://youtu.be/ahoJReiCaPk

Martyrs – off the scale disturbing but brilliant and occasionally beautiful torture horror with purpose.

El Topo – beyond mental 70s exploitation horror mind fuck western. See it to believe it.

Disclaimer: babycakes romero is not responsible for your viewing pleasure. If you find yourself in the middle of a film going..why in fuck’s earth did he recommend this piece of shit..please feel free to write a letter of complaint to bcr@babycakesromero.com.

and if you want to see last year’s round up, here you go…

https://babycakesromero.com/2011/09/

happy viewing!