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Back to the drawing board  15

A line up of ghouls, freaks and fiends this week in honour of Halloween & Day of the dead but also because my life is a lil bit of a horror show at the moment and these monstrous creations are undoubtedly a reflection of this. And it would appear the more unwell I am, the more I draw. And the more trapped I am in my body, the more my imagination soars. This has been a definite positive in a world of negatives.

Doing these illustrations and being able to share them here allows me to reveal what this experience is like. And am very grateful to have not only a creative way to express my frustration, anger and sadness but also to have receptive eyes and ears I can show my work to. I know you don’t really have a choice in the matter but I do really appreciate it.

I have called this series Back to the drawing board because in this seemingly never ending game of snakes and ladders I have slid back down the board and also because drawing was my first love and I am now back doing it again. It has become a bit of a lifeline and has got me through my darkest moments.

To have a way to off load this ongoing nightmare is also very useful as in the real world people really don’t want to hear how bad it is. All anyone wants to hear is that you are getting better and that’s it. As I have discovered all too frequently ‘how are you’ is the question that is asked more than any other but it’s the one question people don’t really want to hear the answer to.

If I meet someone on the street and they ask me how I’m doing and I tell them how shit I feel they always seem to respond with ‘well you look fine’ . I don’t blame them or expect anything, they just don’t know what to say. And yet it makes you feel like you have to pretend everything is ok when it categorically isn’t which just makes it worse. And it’s not really their fault because this is an illness that doesn’t show on the outside which is both a blessing and a curse.

I would like to say that, contrary to maybe what these images and words imply I am actually doing ok, so fear ye not. I’m just indulging in a bit of art therapy to get me through this. And as I ain’t got a whole lot else going on currently and can’t take photos this is all I got. …so please bear with…

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Back to the drawing board  14

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Back to the drawing board  13

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Back to the drawing board  12

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Back to the drawing board  11

Happy Hell-o-ween! It’s going to be a hell-o-week…

P.s After an extremely thorough investigation by my tech wizard Rob I am afraid to say that as suspected if you are one of my email subscribers who cannot see the image in the body of email there is sadly nothing we can do as it is down to Apple mail blocking the content. As previously mentioned this is a slightly over-zealous attempt to protect you from spam and shit …I just wanted you to know we really really tried and I’m just sorry and annoyed (damn you Apple!) I can’t fix it.

So if you are one of those affected you will forever more have to click on the title of the post to see the image and yes, I know that is a pain and two more seconds of your time but surely for content of this calibre it is oh so worth it..

I shall never speak of this matter again and will now just quietly sulk in the corner…over and out.

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Back to the drawing board  10

I don’t know where these sad, slightly scary, relatively disturbing faces come from..well actually, that’s a lie, they obviousl come from my sad, slightly scary, relatively disturbing psyche. It’s just I’m nor aware of them until they are ejected through the ink in my pen.

Once they appear on the page I look down and I think..who the hell are you, how did you get there and what do you want?

I actually like to think they are all living inside my sub-conscious somewhere just waiting to be released into the real world…I see them gathering in the town square each day (run with it, imagine it’s a Tim Burton animation) and they all cheer and chant as one of them is selected by the mighty pen and ’ascends’,

What they don’t know is they end up trapped in a two dimensional form on a page of my notebook but at least they don’t have to live inside my brain anymore..no-one deserves that.

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Back to the drawing board  09

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Back to the drawing board  08

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Back to the drawing board 07

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Back to the drawing board 06

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Back to the drawing board 05

So what’s with all the drawings? I thought this was a photo blog I hear you cry..

I can’t currently take pictures as don’t have the energy to be out and about and I can’t process them either because my brain can’t concentrate enough to make the multitude of decisions required to make a photograph.

So instead, whilst I have been back in the hole, I have been drawing a lot as it has been a way to vent my experience but also because it’s the one thing I can do at the moment as it completely bypasses my brain. I hold the pen. The pen moves. End of. And they say a picture is worth a 1000 words which is a massive plus for me right now as means I don’t have to write them…

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Back to the drawing board 04

p.s dear subscribers, I have a good man (thanks Rob!) working on how to make the pics appear in your email for those who still can’t see ’em. For now, you will just have to click each title post and all will reveal itself..but one day, o holy day, they will appear before you like a vision from the supreme being..

p.p. s he looks like he’s got hairy goat legs in the illustration above. There’s no significance, I just messed up the shading trying to hide some very poorly drawn legs. This is why I normally just stick to faces.

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Back to the drawing board 03

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Back to the drawing board 02

Life on pause…

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Back to the drawing board 01

I am back..of sorts.

P.s If you subscriber & can’t see this pic in email please click on post title

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I am currently…

I will return…

p.s I’m really shit at drawing arms which is why it looks like they are coming out of his ears..

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#MYCARNiVAL22

This was probably my favourite moment of the weekend ..definitely worth a zoom in. Got a lot of shots to come but might take me a little while to go thru..plus I need to recover too..please bear with…

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#MYHOUGHTON22 (PT 5)

When I talk to people about Houghton I pretty much always say the same thing. It delivers on all fronts. Location is beautiful. Music curation is spot on. Crowd are super friendly. Perfect size. You might have noticed over the course of this week documenting the festival that I haven’t really had a bad thing to say about it and that’s because I don’t. Yes it was crazy hot so the ground was super dry which meant the site became a bit of a dust bowl but that’s not the fault of the organisers (you could blame those responsible for climate change but mebbe let’s not go there now shall we?)

Where the festival excels for me is the carefully curated line-up. It feels like djs are booked because they are great djs and not just because their name can sell tickets. And they are given good chunky sets, sometimes 3-4hours so they can really get into the groove and do their thing and take the crowd on a journey. Just like the good ole days. The reason for this due care and attention is that Houghton has a dj at it’s helm and so it is music first above and beyond everything else and that always makes for the best festivals in my book. And no not all festivals seem to prioritise the music as the most important factor. For some it’s the food or the fancy dress (yes Bestival we are talking about you) which is refreshingly in short supply at Houghton. People are there for the tunes. And you won’t really hear a bad tune all weekend. And it’s not all just beats. There is a wide range of music on offer, all dance music but genre wise it is right across the board.

Over the course of the weekend we heard everything from funk to jazz, afrobeat, happy/acid/hard house, 80s/90s dance classics, disco, broken beats, all techno variants and there was even some 50s rock ‘n’roll and 60s soul provided courtesy of my alternate existence with my partner in crime as dj duo Double Agent 7. Having been a punter for the first two years was a joy to have our vintage sounds be part of the musical proceedings. When we play at festivals we are normally one of the few playing vinyl but I have never seen so many djs playing records which was very refreshing, altho all of ours did get caked in a fine layer of dust. Still was absolutely worth it.

And so I don’t really have much more to add other than to show you loads of pictures of people having a great time which tells you all you need to know. These were all taken at Derren Smart main stage during Optimo’s epic gig on the friday afternoon which was probably my favourite set of the weekend. Everyone was already in the groove and up for a major party and the atmosphere was amazing. As you can see it’s just a ton of people having a ton of fun. For me it just encapsulated the joy and the freewheelin anything goes attitude that sums up Houghton completely. They played such a variety of tunes but there was this beautiful line throughout and the crowd stayed on board for the whole journey.

We had all waited 3 years for Houghton to return but it was oh so worth it. Roll on 2023!

(p.s soz very late again today. was finding it difficult to cut down the shots and as you can see I haven’t done that well as there are loads but when you see so much happiness captured it’s difficult to cull them down)

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#MYHOUGHTON22 (Pt 4) – MILLING ABOUT

There is a lot of high intensity activity at festivals, mainly in the form of dancing yer socks off for hours on end to your favourite musical acts but there is also a lot of milling and mooching and hanging about as you recover and decompress rom the night before and as you feed and fuel yourself before it kicks off all over again. To last the duration of the weekend you will need to park up and rest from time to time or else you might not make it to the finish line..and who wants to miss any of the action?

Yes, they actually do have a yoga class at Houghton
This dude had a walkie talkie which is very clever as there was fuck all network coverage on site

It was seriously hot in the sun all weekend so a lot of the day is spent shade dwelling wherever you can find it which again Houghton considerately provides and made sure there were many areas to do just that, unlike say Glasto where there is literally no shade anywhere unless you are mebbe standing directly inside the Pyramid stage. In these scorchio times it makes a big difference if you can get out the sweltering heat. There are also a lot of hammocks around site which are just bliss places to recharge.

And if lolling about isn’t quite active enough for ya they also have a train which will take you on a tour around the site and to the sculpture park (which I have to confess I have still not made it to in 3 years). People get very excited when they see it.

And then before you know it is nightfall once more and it all starts again…

Main stage antics tomorrow..

p.s soz a bit late today.

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#MYHOUGHTON22 – Clubland in the countryside

Houghton is a festival but it was born out of club culture so it has a slightly different feel to it. As it is created and curated by Craig Richards of Fabric fame it is dj driven which means that even though it is outdoors and in the middle of a countryside it still has this vibe like you are deep in the heart of clubland.

The warehouse feels exactly like a umm warehouse and you could very easily forgive yourself for thinking you were in some rave on the outskirts of East London. And that is no accident. This is immersive fantasy clubbing at its best. And you won’t need an uber to get you out of here either. Just a short stroll back to your tent, not that you will ever want to go there because Houghton never stops. So why should you?

Tantrum is another stage at Houghton which despite being a large open tent also feels like a club. The man you can see at the decks through the mist is Craig Richards himself. You might notice over the course of these shots this week that I have not taken hardly any of the djs. It’s just because I always get locked into the crowd and I believe the story is better told in showing the effect their music generates rather than a shot of them staring down at the decks.

And finally here are some shots from the Quarry which is a huge open umm quarry and is basically a massive rave all in its own right. The quarry is the only place you have to queue up to get into on site and there is always a large line of people itching to get in. I was able to skip to the front thanks to my trusty press pass. The queue might be a drag but it does add to the excitement and once through the gates everyone is doubley delighted to make it into this very large raver’s playground and as it goes on right through the night you can lose a bit of time in line and no biggie.

Tomorrow..milling about at Houghton.