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take 2 – soz managed to somehow post b4 without actual photo – kinda essential in a photo blog some might say..

p.s thanks to me mum for spotting the omission and informing me x

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Slogans this week..why? Well is there anything more truly vacuous than a slogan? Implies everything, delivers nothing. We are currently being bombarded with them here in U.K as the election campaign train pulls into town once more..same empty promises, same bullshit. I mean is there really any point in listening to someone who is literally just saying anything they can think of just so that you will vote for them? Do we really need to pay attention to that at all?

I have decided, no, it is not really necessary. I mean, if manifesto policies actually had to be adhered to, like if you said you were gonna do it, by law you would have to follow through once in government..but that’s never gonna happen so what the fuck do I care what they are claiming they will do..what are they actually going to do? The answer is whatever the fuck they want. And apologies if anyone finds above image offensive (yes people still draw willies on things, that shit never goes out of fashion) but it’s the perfect visual metaphor for what it has felt like over the last 14 fucking years to be shafted by the the fuckwit Tories who brought a country virtually to its knees.

Not sure if this is saying the Tories are complicit in genocide or implying they should all be wiped off the face of the Earth..either way it’s difficult to argue with.

So could someone else do better than the boys in blue? Well those that fit into that category range from a bunch of monkeys to literally anyone who can successfully walk in and out of a door without hitting the frame. But are there any of the opposition out there who actually inspire? Anyone out there who feels like they’lll do what really needs to be done as oppose to just maintain the usual self-serving approach to political decisions?

I have been a socialist my entire adult life but Labour ain’t Labour not more and we all know that. Ironically the Lib Dems are way more radical which just shows you how far right the left have gone, so much so they’ve sailed clean past the middle ground. But the only thing that really matters is the environment and so I guess Green would be the way to go but how far would they actually go? Enough to make it number one priority above and beyond everything else? Enough to ensure a liveable future for the generations to come? Enough to dismantle capitalism and the relentlessness of modern consumerism completely and start again? That is what is required andas much as I would love to be believe they could I really can’t see that happening. And does nothing else really matter? No, of course not, a lot of things matter but they won’t matter at all if we don’t address the climate. Everything will be moot. We’ll all be living in the United States of Moot (which actually sounds quite cool but it won’t be, literally or metaphorically)

Now this might come as a shock based on what you have just read but I have never been more politically disillusioned in my life. I barely go near the world of politics anymore as followers of this blog might have noticed. Mainly because I don’t really see the point of shouting into an echo chamber or hitting my head against a brick wall, which seem to be the only two options available for political discourse in this era of polarisation where truth is an extremely rare commodity.

Rather than end on despair and doomongering I will leave you with the above two slogans which are really the only chance we have got. We must unite as people, not tribes. We must fight together for a shared future. We must choose love over hate. We must put community concerns first, individual needs second. Naive and simplistic statements perhaps but they are the things that are gonna get us out of this mess…

(this post was dedicated to my old blog Rantaclock for those that remember it..back in the good ole days when I was angry about everything haha)

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I’m sure Telly Savalas would chuffed to know there are still Kojak fans out there..I would obvs love to think it was a dedication to me but seems unlikely…

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Now that’s a slogan I can get behind..

MYLDN 1932 – Portobello Market innit?

Market folk this week. Portobello Rd would be nothing without the market and the people that are a part of it. The Market is like the coral reef that attracts all the fish. It generates an entire ecosystem around it. Not that you see many fish shopping on Portobello Road..or anywhere else for that matter, they’re not known for their consumerist tendencies or the ability to live outside water if we’re really getting down to it..ok, maybe this was a bad analogy. Truth is I spend a lot of time watching a live cam from a coral reef in Honduras as find it very relaxing so have clocked up so many man hours I think it’s starting to infiltrate the way I see the world (you can see here if you like that sort of thing, altho think evenings only if in Europe, the fish gotta sleep sometime right?).

Anyway nautical comparisons aside, the market is not only a beacon for tourists it is also the lifeblood of the local community. It has created opportunities for them to make a living and generates a ton of business for the area as a whole. It is now busier than it’s ever been and on a Saturday is almost like a mini festival as giant hoards descend upon it in search of..umm, the perfect photo opportunity.

Have spoken to a lot of the market stall holders who say that often the tourists, who are the bulk load of their footfall, mostly just take pictures and don’t buy anything except for the touristy London trinkets like the man above is selling which seem to go by the truckload. This seems a bit sad to me because you can get that shit anywhere but I guess if there is demand there is supply. And who am I to talk about people who just take pictures? Honestly, glass houses mate..

You can still find lots of amazing random unique stuff on the market but for me, as you can probably tell, it is the market stall holders themselves who are the real attraction. They really are an amazing bunch of characters. Old school cockneys, members of the local Carribbean community, immigrants from all cultures and even Chelsea type poshos. Just as the coral reef attracts all types of fish (yes we are back on that) so does the lure of the market bring all manner of men and women.

Most of the transient population of Portobello are there for recreation but the foundations of which everything is built are the traders and they work hard for a living. They have to get up at the crack of dawn, and peddle their wears through rain and shine and have to be always on their game to catch the passing fish (yes one more, why not?) so they themselves can survive. Spare a thought next time you strolling down..

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Funky fashion this week. There are a lot of people out there, especially round here, that have their own unique style, their own specific brand of me, carefully curated and presented with intent. Lots of mini micro fashion decisions on display. And yet despite everyone’s attempts to be original you do see essentially the same styles regurgitated over and over with slight variation..no matter how specific someone looks they always seem rooted in a particular look or fashion tribe.

No matter how outlandish, most combos have been done at one time or another..but I can honestly say I have never ever EVER seen anyone with a haircut like this. Not once. Not ever. I mean possibly in the 18th century or in a french patisserie but never walking down the street. I honestly don’t even know what I am looking at, but I am utterly mesmerised by it and in genuine admiration for the sheer moxie (still watching boardwalk empire). And yet when you see a hairdo this bold you generally have an equally bold outfit but the rest of this guy is pretty normal. Anyway hats off to you mister (and some might say you should wear one) you have broken the mould. You are one of a kind.

Actually someone else who is one of a fashion kind is this magnificent dresser, Jama Elmi who I have featured on this blog before (see here) Back then I called him ‘loud suit man’ cos I didn’t know his name. We have since chatted a few times. He is an explosion of colour and has a seemingly limitless supply of brightly coloured suits and his outfits are always spectacular.

He is a ray of light and brings joy wherever he goes. He also has to be the most photographed man in West London by a stretch. Over the years I have built up quite a collection of him myself whilst a good friend of mine, Sylvain Seresin shot a whole pop video around him and he is even currently the subject of an entire exhibition at the Muse gallery on Portobello Rd (on till tmrrw if you in the hood)

And he doesn’t just look good, he is also a lovely human being. He exudes a positivity that is actually incredibly infectious and always leaves you smiling. As a person who is veering more and more into all black (cue Unlovable by the Smiths)

I find it very impressive that anyone has the spirit to constantly embody such upbeat attire. And unlike anyone else you feel he is wearing this stuff not just for himself or the attention but for the happiness it will generate in others which is a very rare impetus in people’s fashion choices, possibly unique.

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MYLDN 1922 – the enigma of Sister Ruth

This week’s photographs shines a light on Sister Ruth, a local character who is a beautiful human being with a truly unique style. You will always see her pushing her trolley around stuffed with a variety of random objects. She is always up for a lil chat and she will often give you a blessing.

She told me was a missionary nun for most of her life and went to war torn & troubled countries to help those in need. She said she had seen lots of atrocities but the worst she ever saw was Grenfell. Through the positive joy she exudes you can still see the sadness trickling through which she seems to dampen down with lil swigs of Vodka.

I saw her the other day and I called her by name and she said how did I know who she was? I explained we had spoken on many occasions and she said..did I flirt with you? She then said she would pray for us and asked us what we wished for. She is getting on a bit now to say the least and old age seems to be digging its claws in but she still has a lot of fight in her. I also pray she sticks around for a while longer because she is a little ray of light and one of the last great characters in this neighbourhood. Bless you Sister Ruth..

..and that was going to be my puff piece on Sister Ruth and as I am now an investigative journalist (self-appointed) I thought I would do a search for her this morning and see if anything came up and was shocked to find a story about her across a multitude of newspaper publications in 2012 detailing a case that was brought against her for sending threatening letters to Nick Clegg and other MPs and a couple of baronesses containing a substance that looked (but wasn’t) anthrax.

Sister Ruth aka Ruth Augustus was arrested and told police: “I’m Sister Ruth, a 71-year-old disabled nun. I look like a terrorist, don’t I, working for a charity all over the world, with orphans?” Which is a fair point. And she also said “Of Mr Clegg, he lied about all the tuition fees and everything else, keeping those Tory millionaires and rats in government”. Which is also a very fair point. And she said of the police: “They opened the envelopes, and put white powder in, to frame me. I know they monitor it all.” And to be fair that does kinda sound like the sort of thing they do.

But apparently the catholic church have no record of her and she is in fact suffering from a delusional disorder. She was sentenced to 2 years community service. At first I wished I hadn’t looked her up and had preferred to preserve my version of Sister Ruth but at the same time it just makes me even more fascinated with her story. Has my opinion changed of her? Not at all, I still think she’s a beacon of joy. Will I mention it when I next see her? Probably not…but mebbe I could drop Nick Clegg into the conversation and see what happened..any suggestions on how?

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