You may or may not know this but Veganuary is in full swing. I do not have any issue with people being encouraged to eat less meat. We’ve all seen the stats. Meat consumption at its current levels is just not sustainable for the future. Takes up too much land and too much water, both of which we ourselves will need to survive as the planet warms so it will eventually be a case of who do we feed…us or the animals we eat? We’re gonna have to cut out the middle man at some point. So any attempt to get us out of this cul de sac the human race has found itself in is a good thing. But what I do have issue with is really bad puns. Veganuary? Really? Is that the best you could do? There is something about veganism that encourages really bad word play as they try to find alternate versions of names for meat products. Not sure if they are trying to be funny but they are failing. As a demographic vegans have a reputation for not having a sense of humour so that would at least tally.
There is a joke that goes “how do you know someone’s a vegan? Because they tell you” which goes someway to highlighting the often smug sanctimonious attitude that often comes with the decision to go animal product free. I guess a lot of it is no-one likes to be told what they are doing is wrong and evil and it doesn’t help if this information is dished out with an air of superiority and worthiness. No wonder it gets people’s backs up which is a shame as the message does need to get across somehow.
The delivery of the message has previously always had the angle of trying to guilt people into action but it doesn’t work so why do it? There is a bit of a vegan explosion (sorry that doesn’t mean blowing up vegans) going on at the moment in this country and I believe this is because of Simon Anstell’s documentary “Carnage” which uses comedic satire to get the point across and its clearly worked. According to the Vegan Society, there are now at least 542,000 vegans in the UK; 10 years ago, that figure was about 150,000. So maybe dodgy puns are the answer. If they make people laugh maybe that will make them buy the products. If only they were actually funny and not cringe able. Sheese? Really? Sheese Louise! (see what they make you do? You can’t help yourself)
Where do I stand in all of this? I’ve been a peskytarian for decades but have recently become an 85% indoor vegan. What does that mean? It means I mostly don’t have any animal products in the house and only occasionally have a pizza but am largely animal product free. Largely? Mostly? 85% What the fuck are you talking about? What kind of a cop out is that? Well, unlike many people, I do not consider my food choices akin to a religion. There is no rule book. If there is I have never seen one. People say, how can you call yourself a vegan if you occasionally eat cheese or whatever? I can do whatever I like because I don’t actually call myself anything.
It has become aware to me that our food choices have become somewhat tribal and evangelical creating a multitude of in groups and out groups to assign yourself to but I think it just creates polarisation and alienation and is ultimately a distraction from the matter in hand. It doesn’t matter how purist you are about it, what everyone needs to do is to just eat a shit load less meat. And we all know it.
My line is, if everyone was 85% vegan then it would be problem solved. We don’t need to cut it out completely. We just need to (m)eat less. Ok that’s another bad pun, see what I’m saying? Its contagious. I actually need to stop talking about veganism as its making me unfunny. I might lose my sense of hummus completely. (just shoot me, but don’t eat me after yeah? Its Veganuary remember)
If you have never seen Scott Pilgrim vs the world then the title of this blog won’t make much sense but is, as established above, one of those very rare things, possibly one of a kind – it’s a genuinely humorous pun about veganism. Film is brilliant. Why not watch after ‘Carnage”…you can veg out with a Double Vegan bill (ok, I’m outta here, I can feel the funny draining from my very being)
