So what’s with all the drawings? I thought this was a photo blog I hear you cry..
I can’t currently take pictures as don’t have the energy to be out and about and I can’t process them either because my brain can’t concentrate enough to make the multitude of decisions required to make a photograph.
So instead, whilst I have been back in the hole, I have been drawing a lot as it has been a way to vent my experience but also because it’s the one thing I can do at the moment as it completely bypasses my brain. I hold the pen. The pen moves. End of. And they say a picture is worth a 1000 words which is a massive plus for me right now as means I don’t have to write them…
p.s dear subscribers, I have a good man (thanks Rob!) working on how to make the pics appear in your email for those who still can’t see ’em. For now, you will just have to click each title post and all will reveal itself..but one day, o holy day, they will appear before you like a vision from the supreme being..
p.p. s he looks like he’s got hairy goat legs in the illustration above. There’s no significance, I just messed up the shading trying to hide some very poorly drawn legs. This is why I normally just stick to faces.
This was probably my favourite moment of the weekend ..definitely worth a zoom in. Got a lot of shots to come but might take me a little while to go thru..plus I need to recover too..please bear with…
Houghton is a festival but it was born out of club culture so it has a slightly different feel to it. As it is created and curated by Craig Richards of Fabric fame it is dj driven which means that even though it is outdoors and in the middle of a countryside it still has this vibe like you are deep in the heart of clubland.
The warehouse feels exactly like a umm warehouse and you could very easily forgive yourself for thinking you were in some rave on the outskirts of East London. And that is no accident. This is immersive fantasy clubbing at its best. And you won’t need an uber to get you out of here either. Just a short stroll back to your tent, not that you will ever want to go there because Houghton never stops. So why should you?
Tantrum is another stage at Houghton which despite being a large open tent also feels like a club. The man you can see at the decks through the mist is Craig Richards himself. You might notice over the course of these shots this week that I have not taken hardly any of the djs. It’s just because I always get locked into the crowd and I believe the story is better told in showing the effect their music generates rather than a shot of them staring down at the decks.
And finally here are some shots from the Quarry which is a huge open umm quarry and is basically a massive rave all in its own right. The quarry is the only place you have to queue up to get into on site and there is always a large line of people itching to get in. I was able to skip to the front thanks to my trusty press pass. The queue might be a drag but it does add to the excitement and once through the gates everyone is doubley delighted to make it into this very large raver’s playground and as it goes on right through the night you can lose a bit of time in line and no biggie.
And so here it is..the moment you haven’t been waiting for..the big reveal as to what all the photographs over the last 3 weeks have in common which will now surely be highly anti-climatic as I’ve dragged it out for so long but anyway here goes..drum roll puh-leeease…
They actually don’t just have one thing in common. They are connected in a multitude of ways. They are bound together by location, time, technology, intention and they all very personal to me.
Firstly they were all taken within the same geographical space. More specifically within 600 steps of my flat. This is because at the time I literally couldn’t walk further than that in any direction. I would venture just once a day outside and shuffle around at a snail’s pace (literal not metaphorical). I have always taken most of my photos locally, especially in the last two years but these are all within a super specific area, namely how far I could get from my flat without tanking out.
Secondly they were all taken within the same 3 month period last year when I was probably at my worst physical state due to long covid and chronic fatigue.
Thirdly they were all taken on my iphone as this was also the first time in nearly 20 years that I had left home without my camera. I was too ill to focus on anything (no pun intended) so the last thing on my mind was taking photos and I was too weak even to have the added weight of the camera in my pocket. But I did have my phone on me because I was using it to count my steps so I didn’t go too far. For the record these are the first photos I have ever shared that were taken on a phone.
Fourthly (is that right?) these shots are all moments that I was unable ignore, moments that I felt I had to record, moments that I felt would disappear into the ether if I did not try and encapsulate them. And they all had a poignancy for me. Something that spoke to me. Maybe they mirrored how I was feeling, maybe they reminded me of a life I once had. Whatever it was, the feeling was strong, strong enough to penetrate how shit I felt and make me want to take a picture. Even in a dire state I still had a compulsion to document. And that they gave me hope as they all ignited a dim spark within my fogged up brain to show that I was still in there somewhere. The lights were still on..just, well, mebbe just one.
Fifthly (pretty sure that’s wrong too) they reminded me of photographs that I used to take. Inanimate objects. Abandoned toys. No people. Moments of apparent meaning amidst the chaos. Are these extraordinary photos? Not necessarily. Could the world have coped without their existence? Of course. But my need to capture them hopefully gives them resonance. And I realised recently (hence this series) if if I did not then share them and explain the story behind them there would have been no point in taking them in the first place.
I think ultimately photography is a futile attempt to preserve what is about to disintegrate. Everything passes and at some point evaporates forever and yet photography manages to slightly cheat death by keeping what should have disappeared visible and present. It’s basically black magic. Just as this presentation of these photos is an illusion because what you are looking at are just 0s and 1s. And yet my desperate gesture to save these moments from instant annihilation has succeeded in your observation of them, however fleeting…
Grant Morrison said: “All I’ve got to offer is that I am a witness to the events of my life.”
You remember when I said I was going to reveal all this week as to the connection between all these random photos I’ve been posting…well I hate to break it to you and I know you must be beside yourself in anticipation and I’m sure you haven’t slept since this began just wondering, contemplating, analysing what it could possibly be but I’m afraid you are going to have to wait one more week…soz.
p.s apologies for sending a few multiple emails this week. I have been trying to get to the bottom of why my photos don’t appear for some people in the body of the email like they used to. One photo suddenly appeared the other day and I got all excited but it only works if its a photo that comes from my phone rather than my computer which makes no sense.
I finally found out its to do with certain mail programmes blocking remote content from loading (yes apple i’m talking to you) and not in my control. Apparently its a security ting to stop spam but its a little over zealous and my pics have been ensnared in the process. There are forums dedicated to this shit I swear and there are ways to disable but very hassely and sure you aren’t gonna wanna bother. If not I will keep trying to see if I can fix this end somehow, but in meantime you might just have to click on title of the post to see these frankly unmissable pictures..;)
This week I have featured people who I have taken multiple shots of over the years. I rarely take more than one picture of someone but there are some who I have continued to capture over the years as find them particularly interesting to photograph but also because I see them regularly. After I posted shots on Monday of Christine (bless her) it made me realise that there were others who I have collections of too…
I know it all sounds a bit stalkery but I’m not following these people I promise. I just run into them a lot. And they all seem to have a story. There are many locals who I have seen over the years and never spoken to but have always wondered who they were and what they were like. But it’s difficult to bowl up to people and say, seen you around..how’s life? Wanna spill your story? It just doesn’t really happen.
I have been in this hood a long time and have pottered up and down Portobello Rd for decades so have seen a lot of the same people day in day out. As a result I am on nodding terms with tons of them, smiling terms with many, stop and chats with a handful and those I would call friends just a few.
This guy for example I have just seen around a lot and think he has a great look and seems very cool. I will call him Monsieur Moustachio..because I can. On appearance he looks French or Italian, could easily work in fashion, probably moved to London so he could be himself and loves Krautrock and tangfastics. This is obvs entirely made up and I really have no idea who he is or what his story is. I just observe and project. I imagine what people’s lives might consist of, yet know full well that my assumptions are just fiction and probably nowhere near an actual fact. Still as I often quote the great Herzog..”the truth should never get in the way of a great story”. Here’s to the mind machinations of the imagination and all that they bring.
This is Bass Man (another highly imaginative name). Most thursdays you can find him on the steps of this property playing an unplugged bass to music he is listening to on his headphones or on a tablet. Or sometimes he is just playing along to a song in his head.
He is always deeply focussed with his eyes closed and rarely looks up when “playing”. It is difficult to tell if he can actually play because you cannot hear him. And yet skill set aside, he is extremely dedicated as is out there almost every week.
I don’t actually know if he lives there or not as have never seen him come in or out. He is just on the stoop, using it as a stage. He seems to be really enjoying himself. Everyone walking past watches him with the same fascination as you get the sense, in his own mind, he is performing to a devoted audience of thousands.
I confess I have never spoken to him (yes, I’m shy) but have heard him speak and he talks with an incredibly high almost cartoon like voice and is mostly subdued until he interacts with people then becomes very animated.
He is another great character than inhabits this neighbourhood and the world is a better place for him in it.
Maybe one day I’ll talk to him and find out what his story is. If I do I’ll let you know. In the meantime we can but wonder..which is maybe better.
This is Ricasso. I almost certainly have more photographs of him than any other local.
I love running into him and find him such a fascinating character. If he isn’t embroiled with someone else I will have a little stop n chat. He is funny and friendly in equal measure and there is a kindness to him even though life has clearly not always been kind to him. Everyone else in the neighbourhood also seems to know him and he is an integral part of this community.
He appeared twice in my MYLDN photography book. This is what I wrote about him there:
“Ricasso is a local character who you can spot on Portobello Road most days, hanging out, always a can in hand, and often with bruises over his face. As a street drinker and one that sports a fairly flamboyant look, he invariably runs into bother with other neighbourhood drunks.
He is also a talented artist and you can often find him sketching for cash on one of the street corners. I bought a pastel drawing from him that he created on the spot. It’s of a woman staring into a mirror. I have seen him do this sketch many times before and his portfolio is filled with alternate versions along the same theme.
On the one he did for me, he wrote down the side of it “I see you baby shakin’ that ass” and proclaimed that he put this on all his illustrations. I knew this not to be the case but didn’t want to contradict him. The picture is now hanging up in my kitchen and I look at it every day.
He informed me that he was born into a very wealthy and very posh family but went off the rails due to drink and drugs and they disowned him. Even though he’s clearly had a turbulent existence he has a very warm amiable personality and nothing that he has gone through seems to have dampened his spirit at all. “
Sometimes I don’t see him for months and I worry that something has happened to him and then he just pops up as per usual. There used to be a lot more characters like Ricasso around this area but he is one of the few left and this place is all the better for having him in it and hope that remains the case for a long while to come…
This is Loud Suit Man. Not his actual name but one I imaginatively made up after much deliberation. I have seen him down Portobello Rd many times and he always has a extremely brightly coloured suit/hat/shoe combo on. I have never seen him in regular everyday clothes.
And he always seems to have a mood to match. Always smiling. Laughing. Joking with people. He seems very good natured and full of positive vitality. But then you would have to be to wear the sort of outfits he does. You could never be moping around with a sour puss face wearing these type of garments that’s for damn sure.
He seems very warm and approachable although I have never actually approached him. Maybe I will one day. I’d be interested to know what’s driving this outlandish peacock display. He is a true dandy who seems to just want to put a smile on people’s faces to match his own. So thank you Loud Suit Man…you are a burst of colour amidst the greyness.
