We came, we saw, we got muddy…
THE ROCKABILLY RAVE – 17th to 19th June
I’ve moshed with indie rockers in the pit, I’ve worshipped with ravers at the church of dance, I’ve stomped with the ska crowd..but I’ve never been in a scene as cool as the rockabillys..
They’re the best dressed crowd…ever and with the greatest dance moves I’ve ever seen..
and by far the coolest wheels..
There were basically 4000 Rockabillies at Pontins in Camber Sands..and us. Apart from the follically challenged I was the only guy there without a super dooper quiff and we were the only couple on the dancefloor that danced solo freestyle..not to be contrary …we just didn’t know the moves..
I accidentally went dressed as a mod on the first night but fortunately the days of mods and rockers fighting are well over..lucky really cos the fellahs look like a tough bunch..all neck tattoos and big fists..
It was the closest I have ever got to time travel because apart from the odd mobile phone there was nothing to show we were anywhere other than 1957.
The clothes, the cars..even the location..Pontins is a total relic from yesteryear and matched perfectly. If you crossed a council estate with a holiday resort you’d get Pontins…
..although why you’d want to is another matter..
What really freaked me out is that not only did everyone’s outfits, hair, cars etc seem like they had stepped straight out of the 50s but when you looked at them, even their faces matched that era. I don’t really know how that is possible but maybe a genetic throwback to a previous generation had altered their very DNA to make them pure Rockabilly..
What I loved most was the that the age of the crowd varied from 17 to 70+.
There was no ageist exclusion. All generations were present, bonded by the love of a music that originated over 50 years ago and still going strong..
..with great new bands making the scene feel fresh and current despite its retro nature…
the best band we saw were the Caezars..just incredible….and they were just about old enough for their Grandparents to have been in nappies when Rockabilly was created..
We went to the R.R to check out the scene but we were also there on a serious track finding mission for our dj set and it has to be said, without a shadow of doubt the most enjoyable way to buy records I will ever experience..we would rock away on the dancefloor and if a killer song came on, we would just go up to the dj, find out what it was, then go to the record stall at the back and buy it..mission accomplished!
The rockabillys take their scene very very seriously. ..they are authentic to the nth degree. We were just tourists. Maybe next year we’ll get the clothes and the hair doos and the moves..but I have to say, it looks like a shit load of work..
A note to festival goers..staying in chalets at a festival is superb..it rained the entire time and didn’t make a shit of a difference..
GLASTONBURY – 25th – 27th June
Glastonbury is like giving birth..you don’t remember how horrifically painful it is until you are back there again..(no, I haven’t given birth but if its anything like Glastonbury..)
It is advisable to be on your best physical form when tackling Glasto. We weren’t. Still on recovery from the Rockabilly Rave the weekend before it was always going to be a struggle. Glasto is beyond brutal..a Godzilla sized beast..it will chew you up and spit you out like the insect you are..you cannot fight it, you cannot beat it, the only thing you can do is roll with it..and get wasted.
It cannot be done sober. Do not attempt it..it will break you in two. The only hope you’ve got is to stagger around, anaethetized by your own chosen brand of whatever and give yourself over completely.
Glasto is a ying yang equation. There is a direct correlation between the amount of pain and hardship you endure and the amount of pleasure you will have. For some reason you cannot have one without the other. It’s a shame but I don’t think there is a way round it. I just wish it was just a little bit easier but then I guess the pay off wouldn’t be the same..
Why is it so hard?
(this is normal terrain for Glastonbury..)
I have never been to war but I imagine its pretty similar..just with more music.
You spend most of day 1 going never again and by the end you are planning your return visit. Annoyingly it is all worth it. It also toughens you up and stops you being such a prissy moany woany lily livered latte drinking city dweller. From moments of arriving you are caked in mud and up to your knees in shit…literally at times.
Its like a going on a survival trek through a post-apocalyptic mud town armed only with your choice of poison bubbling around inside you..
Not selling it? I would actually advise everyone to go once..it has the best of every music on planet earth and the atmosphere and crowd are the best you will ever find at any festival in the world..
Everyone is just there to party and see their favourite bands and nothing will come in their way..
..not the mud, not the rain, not the 177,000 other people barging in to you, not the Stewards who send you on 3 hour detours, not the 6 hours it takes you to drive back to London, not the comedown after which will have you in tears for a week..but I will say this…it is not for the faint -hearted.
Oh yeah, did I mention..we dj’ed at Glastonbury?
Yep, that was pretty fucking cool.…
Thank you Emily for inviting us to play at your magnificent Bimble Inn and for making us part of the Glasto experience..no matter what happens they will never be able to take that away from us…
Oh, and we also managed to end up dancing on stage with Kool and the Gang…which was nice. I texted my brother from the stage and he saw us on the telly..a sweet end to the weekend.
TINCASTOCK – 2nd July.
A little known boutique festival in its first and possibly last year set in one of the greatest places I have been to a party at. (thank u Sarah P) We did a six hour set and it was a joy, our music wafted over the English countryside as we looked out to what can only be described as an idyllic view..we even got ourselves a couple of fans..(well Karey did at any rate..)
Jake (9): “Why are there two cds playing at the same time?”
IBIZA – 5th-9th July
When we first went to Ibiza a couple of years ago I was introduced to the owner of DC10 (club) who is basically Mr Ibiza and I was telling him how great I thought it all was and he tells me quite plainly that I’m five years too late…
A couple of nights later we are in the club Space and there is a dwarf off his head who gets up on a podium and starts rocking out. The crowd love it but the security guards pull him down and then I realise what Mr DC10 meant.. .the day you’re pulling a mashed up dancing dwarf off a podium something has gone wrong. Ibiza is not what it was. The free-spirited hedonism has gone and has been replaced by a seriously corporatized and highly organized version. Its now predominantly for the rich Euro trash crowd who are happy to pay 60 euros to get into a nightclub.
Personally I don’t know how anyone can be happy with that..if I was going to pay 60 euros into a nightclub I would want free everything brought to me all night and someone to carry me to the loos…and my own podium..and some adoring fans..and maybe a cool hat..
But most people in there seem to have been glad to cough up the reddies just to be seen on the scene…
..and admired…
..or so they thought…
A lot of the hedonists have been replaced by narcissists, the music lovers replaced by the money men but it is still an incredible place where you can have a phenomenal time…
It is after all an island almost entirely devoted to clubbing and if you’ve got a few “ins” you can enjoy the proceedings without breaking the bank. Fortunately we did (thank you David) but most are paying through the nose…in more ways than one by the looks of things.
Is it worth it? I guess it depends if you can afford it.
Ibiza is a really beautiful place with some stunning beaches and you can seriously party your ass off without going near a superclub…which is what a lot of people are doing. We had a blast in our Himilayan retreat up in the hills (thank you Conor) and although the way down was a bit bumpy, well worth it.
LOVEBOX – Sunday 17th July
A London festival with a great atmosphere, great crowd and great music..Wireless..take note.
The rain turned it into a mud pit but no-one seemed to care.
By the time we got there at 4pm everyone was seriously on their way…
Had a superb dance at the Circus tent (festival version of great London club night with great intended pun) with “yeah but no but” lookey likey Jodie harsh blasting our corker dance tunes.
Just caught the very end of Marc Almond’s set but he appeared an extremely happy camper (no pun intended).
A lifelong dream was realised when we saw Blondie. Even today Debbie Harry is still cool as fuck.
Debbie Harry pictured here before and after make-up (just kiddin Debs..)
She inspired generations of impersonators but was never bettered. The crowd sung their hearts out to every massive hit. There was a serious amount of love in the park for the Peroxide queen.
..ran into some very interesting characters along the way..
..whose attire was a little more flamboyant than your usual festival go-ers..
And I even had a face to face with Pete Burns…as my friend Marc noted..his face is a work of art..just not necessarily one you would want up in your living room..
And Beth Ditto seemed to have got confused over who was guarding who..
Caught half of Scissor sisters set which got the crowd geared up for the phenomenal 2 manyDjs finale which whipped up a storm and brought the day to a fantastic and uplifting end..although no-one was quite ready to go home..
As I looked around at everyone jumping up and down and dancing like their life depended on it as the sun set and night fell, I questioned why the music festival has become so big and I realised that rather than being something new, we were involved in the most ancient of human practise. Back to pagan times and beyond, the need and desire to shake it loose in nature has been an integral part of our species expression.
It has maybe been with us since the beginning..since the first hairy ancestor bashed a bone repeatedly against a rock and everyone gathered around to move to the beat…we are dancing to the rhythm of our own hearts and the pulse of the planet beneath our feet..maybe it is only when we are actually standing in a field on actual earth that we can genuinely feel the connection.
After 5 rather large weekends in a row I think I might need a rest now..and a brain implant.
