My favourite steel drum playing Santa was out again this year and was delighted as he has provided me with my xmas post for many years as sure many of you will recognise him. Even though he doesn’t ever look super happy and a little light on xmas cheer I am always very happy to see him.
Seasons greetings to you all, wishing you a merry whatever and a glorious new year…
The winter sun, nature’s spotlight, piercing through the shadows. A beacon of hope through the darkness which seems to be closing in, surrounding us, enveloping us…right now with everything that is going on (cost of living/energy crisis/climate meltdown/war/recession – fun times eh?) it feels like the shadows are fast on our heels, getting harder and harder to outrun. It is consequently difficult to relax and stay positive when you feel you could get engulfed at any moment.
On top of everything mentioned above I have personally been through the valley of darkness this last year. Even though I’m doing better I spend my life walking along the edge of the abyss knowing that one wrong step will put me back in the hole. It’s no picnic and it would be so easy to just see everything as shit but that only buries you deeper in it.
Long covid has robbed me of 3 careers, a social life and the ability to be me. It has taken such a lot and yet I still have so much to be grateful for and am still able to find moments of joy on a regular basis. At first this condition felt like the ultimate curse but in some ways I have come to see it as a blessing because it makes you appreciate even the tinniest of things.
Even in this restricted capacity being alive is still a rare and wondrous privilege and there is beauty to behold everywhere…like the rays of sunshine in these photographs beaming into our lives. This light has travelled 93 million miles through the emptiness of space from a burning star that makes all life on this Earth possible. We live on a miracle. Yes, we have some tough times ahead but all the more reason not to give up and admit defeat by the dark forces. Now is a time to fight and to find pockets of happiness where we can.
So when it’s dark there is only one thing to do..head for the light. Gravitate towards what is positive in your life. Focus on the glory not the gloom. The joy not the horror. There is as much of both so you still get to choose what you dwell on. Evil hasn’t won..it’s just got better PR.
People wrapped up for winter this week..why? Cos it’s fookin freezin. I don’t have any snow shots cos I live in central london where the snow settles for about a minute before evaporating into thin air but here are a few heavily attired Londoners making practical yet still fashionable solutions to the sub zero conditions…
And no, just because it’s artic temperatures doesn’t sadly mean that global warming isn’t happening. It’s just a cold spell.
And for the record if you live in a society where people cannot afford to heat your home when it’s this friggin cold your society is broken.
All shots this week part of my ongoing series: “R u talkin to me“. Now that I am back out and about I am currently getting all my info from the street which are when you think about the original information super highway (that really looked like it was gonna be a keeper for a while). Why don’t I look online or read a newspaper like everybody else? Well this is because I have essentially cut myself off from all news sources, firstly by necessity but now by choice.
For the most part of the last 18 months or so I have been unable to read more than a couple of lines of anything before my brain capsized. So consequently my ability to stay up with current affairs drastically diminished. I quickly went from being a voracious news hound to a lackadaisical (such a good word, really don’t use enough) uniformed mutt.
At first it was incredibly frustrating but overtime a positive emerged. Namely I had been liberated from the doom scroll. I was no longer being relentlessly bombarded by the daily horror show and my mood instantly improved. I felt calmer. More at ease. Less angst ridden. Well not by the news at any rate. I was blissfully ignorant and found I was filled with less daily dread yet as my cognitive ability improved I started glancing back at the headlines. I couldn’t help myself. But every time I did my mood plummeted and it also affected my health. It just made me feel, why am I even bothering to get better? It killed my will to improve and so in the interest of self-preservation I am now keeping the relentless feed of misery at arm’s length. I can’t let it back in yet, not while I am just starting to find my feet again..
I used to feel you had to be informed, it was some sort of moral obligation and that the old ostrich approach was what has got us into all this mess in the first place. But the way I see it is that the things that really need to be happening aren’t happening, so why do I need to pay attention? Why should I check in just to watch the powers-that-be not doing what they should be doing? And then having to listen to the relentless bullshit as to why they continue to ignore the all encompassing tidal wave that is coming towards us. And obviously this isn’t the first time. They have been ignoring the advice of experts on a multitude of matters for a very long time..a few examples incoming..
When our Government was informed that inequality was the root cause of most of the society’s problems and that equal societies were better for everyone did they listen? did they act? did they fuck..
When our Government was informed that excessive testing harmed young children’s educational development did they listen? did they act? did they fuck…
When our Government was informed that it would be better across the board to legalise drugs did they listen? did they act? did they fuck…
When our Government was informed that we must phase out fossil fuels and invest in renewables immediately to have a chance in hell of maintaining a liveable planet did they listen? did they act? did they fuck!
They ain’t listening to the information being fed to them so why should we waste our time listening to them? They clearly aren’t paying attention to what needs to be done so what’s the point of paying attention to them? They are not concerned with our well being. Or our future. I mean, anyone who wants to ban wind farms in the middle of a cost of living/energy crisis when it’s the cheapest cleanest energy available in this country is not someone who is woking with your best interests at heart It is someone you need to remove. As well as every other elected twat protecting the oil industry instead of the people they represent.
It’s like getting in pest control to fix your rodent problem only to discover they’re in cahoots with the rats. As I have said before our leaders are not leading the way, they are in the way. They are problems not solutions and their actions infuriate me to a level of anger I cannot still currently deal with so until I can I will avoid avoid avoid. Although as you can see I am getting my rant back on so feeling better ;)
And so the other day, I bring my camera out for the first time in months as I finally feel well enough to go out once more in search of the ultimate picture and as I hit street level (not literally, I didn’t fall over, this isn’t a tragic story) I am met with this glorious sight…the low winter sun beaming straight down onto the pavement in front of me, literally lighting up the path ahead of me, beckoning me forward and ushering me safe passage through the darkness..did I take it as a sign? Fuck yeah.
Having been housebound for so long and not been able to get further than down the road and back I feel like someone who has just got out of prison..again. The air is crisp, the colours are beautiful. I have a large unbreakable grin on my face. I can walk further and faster than I have done for months and that is nothing short of magnificent. I gaze in wonder at everything around me, like a child mesmerised by even the tiniest of things. I will never take this for granted. It is glorious.
I’ve had enough of being on the subs bench, watching life from the sidelines. I want back in. And I’m not going to stop till I am fully ensconced back into the land of the living. Yes the world is full of horror, chaos, injustice and anxiety but being part of life is a rare and beautiful privilege and you gonna spend a fuck load of time not in it so you might as well soak up as much as you can…
