I love that whoever made this list only managed to complete one task (and the easiest one by looks of things) before either throwing it away or losing it. It kind of sums up for me how we all feel we should be productive during this ongoing period of inactivity but are having varying degrees of success. Some folk are actually getting things done whilst others are permanently hovering around the contemplation stage. I am partly in the former group but frequently in the latter. Eg: I have finally painted the bedroom wardrobe (I bought the paint just under a year ago) but my summer shirts are still in the dirty laundry, yes I know, its February. Don’t judge. I figure I still got a few months till I need ’em again.
As I walk around at the mo it is very clear that people are clearly clearing out a ton of shit (can you have too many ‘clears’ in one statement? Clearly you can) While actual humans are very thin on the ground, their discarded objects are making a consistent appearance on the streets. These items have lingered in the shadows for years, niggling at us from the periphery of our consciousness to be thrown out but now lockdown has shone an unbearable light on them and they have now finally been cast asunder. (note to self: use the word asunder more) In fact, these pavement dwelling objects are about the only thing you come across as you take a break from your own steaming pile of shitty tasks.
Over the years we have all convinced ourselves that if we just had a bit more time we would finally get around to doing all those things that permanently lurk on the edge of getting done. But even after almost a year some are still very much ‘undone’. Turns out that time wasn’t the problem, it was desire. Turns out that even in the midst of the most prolonged period of inactivity in living history there are things that you simply cannot ever be arsed to do….do not see this as failure, see this as liberation. You now no longer have to concern yourself with these things ever again.
Our previous lives were chock to the brim with ‘doing things’. Let’s be honest. It was exhausting. You lunged from one thing to the next with no break, no reprieve. The in-tray was never empty. Life never stopped..or it didn’t…until now. So now that it has, why are we so desperate to fill it in the same relentless way? Why don’t we just enjoy the nothingness? Embrace the quiet? I think it’s because when everything goes still we are left with ourselves who, it turns out, are possibly the last people on Earth we want to be alone with…but what are we so afraid of? How bad can we actually be? And all we have to do to find out is to do sweet F.A. That feels very doable to me.
I think I touched on this in the last lockdown but I actually think doing nothing is very underrated in our society. I am actually now developing a book/podcast/cult called “Stop doing, start living”. I am currently at the research stage which involves doing nothing for long periods of time. It’s arduous work but very rewarding and I hope all the effort I put in now will hopefully one day lead to people putting in no effort at all…and that doesn’t just have to be my dream, that is something we can all not work towards…
All I want to know is what’s in the towel? I guess I could have looked inside but going thru other people’s discarded stuff on the street just doesn’t seem like such a sensible idea at the moment..and anyway, an unsolved mystery is always way more exciting than a solved fact. And as excitement is very much on the lowdown at the mo I will take it where I can get it…
Last lockdown I showed you what I could see out of my window but right now there isn’t a whole lotta happening out there as we’re still deep in mid winter. So instead, as my world has basically been shrinky dinked to the walls I am currently surrounded by, I am showing you inside my home…for the first time! Dum, dum, daaaaaa!
My home location was once just a part of my life but now, as it for all of us, it has become my entire existence. Lockdown has made reclusive cave dwellers of us all, regardless of whether we were before or not. Our dwellings have effectively become comfy prisons as we wait for this wave of the virus to subside. It sucks but it has to be this way if we want to have any chance of coming out on the other side of this thing.
And even though being in every single night is drastically different to my B.C life, I have had to settle into this reduxed version of living. Acceptance will save the day & all that. And mainly because the alternative is the path to which madness lies. You must accept what you can’t control for any degree of sanity or happiness and right now this is way beyond all of us. The entire human race is in a hole and so we must be patient and wait till we are able to get out. This is the way as Mando would say.
After such an elongated period of restricted living it does feel it is changing us & the world around us in ways that we cannot begin to quantify until it’s really over. And who knows when that will be? The longer this goes on the more surreal it becomes. And also the more normal it feels which is slightly worrying. We’ll all ultimately end up as anti-social agoraphobic anxiety ridden germ freaks…that’s possibly already happened…if so, we will need to unlearn what we have learnt.
Our previous lives now seem like a fanciful dream. I am currently working on some prototype photography books (which I will hopefully share with you soon) and they all focus on dance & music events with masses of people all over each other and it looks like an impossible world, a world we no longer inhabit.
One thing I have noticed as I stare at all these people rocking out to the music they love is how carefree everyone looks. They don’t look like they have a trouble in the world. They have a lightness about them. When I look at people at the moment, they look heavy, burdened by the weight of it all. It makes me realise we didn’t really have anything to worry about back then…even though we were convinced we did.
I walk past Rough Trade West on Talbot Road almost every day of my life. I don’t always go in as I will just want to spend money I don’t really have but I always check out their window display which features the covers of their current top picks. At night they put the grill down and I have taken the odd shot as this ‘imprisoned effect’ can give the album artwork a whole new dimension. Over the years I have built up a little collection which I now share with you this week.
Rough Trade is most definitely a revered institution of Ladbroke Grove and I personally feel very attached to it as it has been a part of my record buying existence for as long as I can remember, both guiding and providing for me, the tunes that would shape my life. My proudest moment of the MYLDN book coming out was finding out they were selling it.
This area has always had a rich and vibrant record shop scene and Rough Trade has, for me, always been its beating heart. If you want to read The Vinyl factory’s great article about the history of record shops in this neighbourhood you can see via this link here.
Now sadly many have bitten the dust and only Rough Trade, Honest Jons, People Sounds and The Notting Hill Music Exchange remain. And yet right now, like most shops, none of them are open. Rough Trade’s grill is now up all the time and these shots have become a metaphor for this ongoing ‘incarceration’ of the high street. The retail sector is literally trapped behind bars, unable to function and through no fault of their own. Seeing shops closed has sadly become an all too familiar sight and it feels right now like they might never be resuscitated from their current stasis. But we desperately need them to come back. Our local shops are not just about consumerism, they are an integral part of our communities.
My heart goes out to all the businesses who have been levelled by the pandemic and I hope the government does what’s right and supports them in their hour of need and sustains them through this debilitating situation. The high street was already flagging under the joint pressures of gentrification and internet shopping. Let’s ensure Covid is not the kiss of death but works instead as a wake up call to highlight its necessity. Our retail interactions might seem slight but over time they become genuine relationships and are essential to a sense of wellbeing. They make us feel connected and less isolated, something which is more important now than ever.
One thing that gives me hope is seeing people utilise Rough Trade’s click and collect option to pick up new acquisitions from the shop they literally cannot wait for. It reminds me that for some (myself very much included) music is a necessity not a luxury. Music is the lifeblood that keeps us going. It cannot be extinguished, it gives us energy, it calms us, soothes us, excites us and our love for it will endure no matter what is thrown at us. I know I would not have gotten through this last year without it. So long live Rough Trade and all the other fine purveyors of music for dispensing the tools we need to survive..
I have effectively stopped taking photographs of people on the street. This is partly because there is a lot less of them around at the moment. The streets are currently utterly and eerily desolate. I keep expecting to see either tumbleweed or a lone zombie dragging its heels down the high street. We are in a lockdown so it’s to be expected.
And yet, it isn’t just that. I have also lost the inclination. When Covid first landed I began to compulsively capture the masked masses and the queues and felt it was important to show this transformed world and try to make sense of it. Now almost a year later that desire to document them has waned. I, like everyone else, have pandemic fatigue. Not only do I no longer feel the urge but I figure the last thing anyone wants right now as they try to go about their business in this era of restricted & relatively grim living is to have some bloke point a camera in their not very visible face.
And I think it’s also the fact that the only bit of people’s faces I can see are their anxious little eyes popping out over a bit of fabric. In the past I have always been drawn to capturing characterful faces. I am fascinated by the unique configurations of people’s features. Everyone looks a little bit like someone but no-one looks exactly the same as anyone. Not even identical twins. And even though the eyes tell all, it’s not enough. One facial feature is like a song. I want to hear the album. It’s frustrating to only get part of the story. It has also occurred to me that if your eyes are your best feature this is a good time for you. If its your nose or your mouth, less so…
And so, as a consequence of this facial feature free existence I have gone back to photographing inanimate objects. But the irony is I am still sorta chasing faces, it’s just these ones are drawn or sewn on. I once did an entire exhibition called ‘Stuff n Stuff’ which focussed exclusively on toys (cuddly and otherwise) that I encountered on my travels. Mostly discarded on the streets. They all seemed to speak to me, trapped in their lifeless existences, yearning to escape…hmm, that’s starting to sound strangely familiar…and I guess mebbe that is why my gaze has returned to them.
If you wish to see more of this ilk below is a little gallery of some of the shots from the aforementioned exhibition.
soz, forgot to post yesterday…not quite sure how that happened, it’s not like I’m excessively busy. quite the opposite. I just can’t quite seem to get a grip on the days. Weekdays feel like weekends and vice versa. So difficult to tell apart when every day is the same…
